So Glad We Went

It's almost gotten to the point where it is comical, but I can predict with almost 100% certainty, that on evenings when Eric and I have something planned, one of two things happens:

(1) We will get in a stupid fight; or
(2) We will get extremely tired.

I started noticing it when we first got married, and it was annoying. Unfortunately, it often ruined our evenings. Sometimes we would cancel our plans and other times we would suck it up and paste on a smile.

It also didn't help that Eric and I have two completely different communication styles when it comes to these moments. I am a "let's sit/sleep on it" type of girl. I like to give it some time to let the emotions subside. That way we can discuss things logically and not emotionally.

Eric is the type of person that likes to discuss everything in the moment so that the argument is over within a few minutes, instead of dragging it out over a few days.

And then, there were the fights about how to fight.......

As you can see, this would be very annoying to both of us. So it was during one of these occasions, that I brought it up to Eric. "Have you ever noticed that whenever we have plans, we either get in a stupid fight or get extremely tired?" "Do you suppose it's just satan trying to ruin our evening or trying to hinder what God may have planned for us tonight?"

As we observed this, we noticed something else. When we did fight the urge to cancel our plans, we usually had an incredible evening. And EVERYTIME, while we were driving home, we look at each other and say "I am so glad we went."

This past weekend was our church's Married Life Live: A Night Out for Couples. We had been looking forward to it for weeks. And of course, with all predictability, we both were extremely tired and all we wanted to do was rent a movie and veg on the couch.

As we were discussing whether to go or not, Eric said, "You know we're going to be so glad we went." But we still couldn't decide. Even as the babysitter arrived, we hadn't made up our minds. Knowing the pattern, we recognized that God must have something great in store for satan to be hindering our evening this much. So we went.

Now, I am a very outgoing person in social settings (most of the time), but I was not feeling it when we first arrived and I had decided in advance that I was not going to initiate a conversation with other couples, but if it happened, I'd be fully engaged.

Well, we ended up meeting an amazing couple and had a blast. Sure enough as predicted, Eric and I got in the car and immediately said "so glad we went!" It's comical now, because we recognize these tactics. We know one of them is going to happen and it has almost become an assurance of a great evening.

It is so easy for patterns, such as these, to go unrecognized. Overtime, they have the potential to burden a marriage, or any relationship for that matter. But when we take the time to recognize them, it's as if everything changes. Our evening used to be ruined, now we just laugh. It may still be a challenge for us to overcome the lethargy or silly fight in the moment, but we always know that God has something great in store for us and we will be.......so glad we went.

Bubbles

Some of the first two words out of Braxton's mouth were "Oh, WOW". They are still some of his favorite words to use. I have heard him speak those words more than I can count. He says it when someone walks through the door, he says it when the garage door opens or closes, he says it when he sees a bird, airplane or ant.

On a recent Saturday, Eric and I were sitting on the driveway blowing bubbles for Braxton and out came the "Oh, WOW". As he saw the bubbles being formed, the expression on Braxton's face was one of sheer awe. I looked at Eric and commented, "when was the last time bubbles made you that happy?"

To be honest, I can't remember when ANYTHING made me that happy. I don't mean to suggest that I am not a happy person, I am. I love my life. I love my husband. I love my child. But I can't remember the last time I was in awe of something; an awe that lead to sheer happiness.

It made me wonder. When do we lose that ability to have that child like reaction to simple occurances? Or rather, when does that sense of awe and wonder no longer become second nature? Perhaps that's why Jesus challenges us to have a childlike heart.

I am not shy about telling people that Braxton was not planned (by us). I had a hard time coming to terms with being pregnant, becoming a mother, caring for a child. I have never been so scared and angry in my life. I had such a sense of loss, that my life as I envisioned it was over. Being a mom was the last thing I had wanted.

While I was praying for God to give me the joy that most people feel when they are preparing for a child, God kept whispering to me "for such a time as this". It was drowned out by my tears and sulking for the first half of my pregnancy, but eventually I listened to the sweet voice of God. Up until now, I interpreted this as meaning that God has a great purpose for Braxton's life, something beyond what I can imagine. I believe this to be true with all that I am.

But what I am learning is that "for such a time as this" was also meant for me. I am learning so many things as a mother. Things that shape who I am and my outlook on life. I now know that God gave me Braxton so I would be better than I ever could be without him.

It seems as though God's timing was......perfect.